“Somewhere between living and dreaming, there’s New York”

It has been exactly a year since I landed in Brisbane from NYC. In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago and in others it feels like yesterday I was out on my fire escape staring down Columbus avenue at the hustle and bustle. One thing I can definitely say, is that I thought without a doubt when I stepped onto that plane last year that I would be back by the end June at the latest. But here we are 12 months later. Ironically enough I am writing this on the eve of what may be a lockdown for the Gold Coast – USA people must think we are crazy given there are only 10 cases out in the community, but this is what we do over here. I just went down to relax and reflect in the hot tub and there was not a single person in sight. Very eerie given that only days ago the pool was completely packed and full of laughter…

When I think about the hot headed decision I made to come home it truly blows my mind. I didn’t think it through at all really and it all happened so quickly. The universe certainly had my back though, as I know that despite the fact it was heartbreaking to leave, it would have been far more devastating not to be here for my mum’s final weeks. I have so many silver linings to be thankful for during this pandemic, of course most importantly spending invaluable time with friends and family. Australia has managed to maintain a sense of “normal” life and I have been blessed to work with some of the most amazing dancers in Australia over this time. We have some of the best talent down here!!! I have even traveled to parts of the country I had never been before which has been an exciting adventure. The land down under is truly a paradise to be stuck in during a world crisis and I have new appreciation for our amazing island. The ability to zoom and facetime with my students and friends all over the world has also softened the blow of my return- in particular my weekly Broadway Dance Center zoom classes have allowed me to feel that I am still part of the NYC dance scene and I know so many look forward to them each week. Today one of my Canadian students hit 64 zoom classes with me – incredible!

However the reality is that I packed up my life over here, sold my business and said my goodbyes 7 years ago for a new one in NYC. It was my dream and I really felt that I was living it, magic fairy dust and all. Despite the amazing pictures you see on my feed which resemble a marketing strategy for Queensland, the year round summer weather and quality of life you can have in this country, I had found “home” in another. I had given my heart over to NYC. I know there are so many others in my position and it almost feels selfish to complain given the way this has all played out for so many but I feel like I am in limbo – waiting to see when I can jump on that plane again and resume my life. Please do not get me wrong I will never regret the year that I have had. It has been one of massive self growth and a time when I have been able to see who is truly there for me – a very revealing period of time in so many ways.

To anyone who I have had a coffee with, a zoom with, dinner with, danced with on the real or virtual dance floor, to the friends who have been a shoulder to cry on, to my podcast buddy, my family I know I have not always been easy this year but I have felt the love and I hope you have felt it coming back from me ten fold. I think I have discovered that maybe I should read cards for a living this year! In the last few weeks New York has shown itself to me in so many ways and with clear signs. I know in my heart I will be back there when the timing is right. Sending love to the world and particularly to my favorite city.

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